Dating Tips

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Clearly, there are some things that sexual confidence is not about. For starters, it’s not about having a great body. Perhaps unexpectedly, older women describe themselves as much more sexually confident than younger ones. I say “unexpectedly” because younger women tend to be regarded as having more objective sex appeal. But older women have the extremely valuable benefit of experience.

Carla, 41, put it this way: “If I took the confidence I have now and the body I had in my 20s or 30s, I’d be hell on wheels. But would I trade what I now understand about myself, my body, and sex just to have the body back? No way, no how!”

When she was younger, her fear of rejection and insecurity caused her to be a people pleaser. She knows better now: It’s not selfish in a sexual situation to please yourself. Think about it—what greater gift could you give your partner than to have a really good time? If you’re having fun, your partner is going to have fun. And that’s not a license for selfishness; it’s a recognition that you can’t give away what you don’t have yourself.

Sexual confidence isn’t something you need a partner to give to you or validate in you. In fact, if you’re focusing too much on him, that can be a big distraction and erode your sexual confidence. Virtually all the women I talked to agreed that when they were younger, they were more inclined to let other people define their sense of self.

Women who know their bodies better—who know what turns them on—report enjoying sex more. Learn more dating tips and advice at :
http://www.onlinedatingtips.org/